Action Research

Ego: The fallacy whereby a goose thinks he’s a swan. (Proverb)

I find myself fascinating. (Milan Kundera)

Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him. (Proverbs 26:12)

It isn’t easy doing this kind of research and looking at your practice – and yourself – through clear and open eyes.  I don’t want to fall into the pit of self-recriminations, nor do I want to sing my praises. How does one talk about themselves in an objective (academic) way? I need to find the language to help me express or evoke the image. I understand that the purpose is to look at learnings and awareness, but how is this important in the bigger picture? Who really cares about my change in practice other than myself?

I’m meeting with one of the artists tomorrow and I need to think about the kind of questions to ask so that I might understand my role, my actions, my purpose better (deeper). Perhaps I could say, “So, what do you really think about me?”  Nah.  Or maybe, “Can we talk about something important here? Me.”  Hmm.

Is it because we are Canadian this becomes so hard? I don’t want to draw attention to myself. But why is that so terrible? This will be an on-going tension for me I guess, one to be wrestled with and subdued into some kind of submission.

I think I will simply start a conversation with her and ask her to tell me about our special day – what had impact for her, what was challenging, what was stimulating. And I will ask her to describe my role as she saw it – how I interacted or facilitated or conducted. I would also like to hear how she described the relationship with teachers and the other artists, her impressions of the climate of the day and images that remain. The conversation will evolve as it will. I will listen to her, recording it for later transcription, and try to pull out themes or recurring ideas. From this I will be able to reflect upon my practice as seen through through the eyes of an artist.

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.  (Tao Te Ching)

I just returned from the Learning and Arts Symposium in Regina, hosted by the ArtsSmart program and the Saskatchewan Arts Board.  The National ArtsSmart organizes an annual forum to exchange ideas between the partners across the country.  Participants were from every province, except the Territories – although one participant from Labrador spoke about her Innu culture and that of her students.

I was asked to be a part of a panel on Arts Research and to reflect upon our experience with the ArtsSmart project: “Our Voice, Our Story” in which filmmakers Gabriel Yahyahkeekoot and Shane Bellegarde came to Spiritwood and Cutknife for a week each and worked with students to create original films.  I was nervous to be on the panel as the other partners have been involved longer and with much higher numbers of participants.  I realized I still feel rather new as a researcher and my inexperience would be apparent.  Regardless, I decided that my experience (specifically that of our teachers and students) would be of value and would offer a perspective unique to our province.

As I listened to the other presenters on the panel (I went last), I started to zone out somewhat. They were listing statistics and figures and data in an impressive way, but it felt disconnected to my experience. When it was finally my turn to speak (after 2 long power point presentations!) my voice came out squeaky and wavering. Was I more intimidated than I thought?

I did a little game with the audience to make them stand up and identify with categories and I could see their bodies relax as they smiled or laughed. Okay, now I was back in familiar territory, people were with me in the room again. I began to describe Saskatchewan and the isolation we often feel. Especially the isolation of being the Arts Educator or the Artsy student. Our research helped us form a community, a bond as people committed to the Arts and eager to engage with one another.  It was all hinging on relationship. The artists needed to connect to the community, the teachers needed to feel purposeful to the project and the students needed to feel connected to the artists and the concepts being explored.  There was a bond that formed over the course of the week and we could observe high levels of commitment by all parties. We used journals, interviews and observations as a way to collect our data and we were able to analyze it reflecting, sharing and comparing with one another.

I looked around and people were nodding and still smiling (not zoned out). They understood my message and had experienced it as well.

Research and data is necessary, it is a way to systematically organize and analyze our information and get a picture of the growth. It helps as a way of communicating this growth to others – the stakeholders. BUT it is not about the numbers, the charts, the facts, the statistics – it is about the relationships and the people. There is a huge tension for me as I try to understand how this works in praxsis, and it is not easily handled.  On the one hand, the Arts provide an avenue for creativity to flourish by allowing for a process to unflod. The process may be entirely dependent upon factors of personality, philosophy, contextual issues and environement.  We do not identify the arrival before the wandering. And yet we need to be able to foresee methods and moments of importance when data should be collected and documented. How can we begin to anticipate when and how when we are engaged and in it, living the experience?

My job is be both inside (living it)

and outside (analyzing it)

the experience at the same time.

An aha moment!

But …. what to do about it? hhmmm ….